Uses for Christmas Lights
AIM chatroom | Sunday October 27 2002
*** D has been invited to the group chat.
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F: yo alls
Paul: welcome to pointless chat
*** R has joined the chat.
F: thanx
R: Phht!
F: glad i could make it
F: u and your dumb pep band songs
R: lol
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F: boo ya
F: meesside
D: Hey hot roomies!
F: hey sexy
D: What brings you to this side of town? Care for a little protection?
F: oh yeah
F: protection is good
D: Come into my parlor said the spider to the fly
F: or my loft
F: as the case may be
D: Is there enough room still:-*
Paul: This is following Paul's Theorem: Absolutely anything, taken the wrong way, can be a sexual innuendo
F: of course
F: isn't it great
Paul: "Isn't it great" = sexual
F: hehehe
Paul: = sexual
F: i'm a good girl i am
Paul: = sexual
D: riiigghhht
Paul: = sexual
F: I AM!
Paul: = sexual
D: Good in how many ways
Paul: = sexual
F: now were talking
Paul: = sexual
F: it's all about sex
D: We can do more then talk
Paul: = sexual
Paul: = sexual
F: get the drift
Paul: = s
Paul: = eexual
Paul: it's sexual
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Paul: hey
F: yo
Brian: Hi
F: wazzup
Brian: are you all from RH
Paul: yes
Paul: we're all in the same room
Brian: what?
Paul: about 5 feet from each other
F: is fun no?
Paul: the most pointless chat room ever
F: yup
Brian: and you feel the need to chat over the internet
F: uh huh
F: helps break the ice
Paul: and we're having a discussion about how anything is sexual innuendo
F: well we were
Brian: ahhhhhh, I think I'm the master debator on that one
D: I know some Ice I'd like to break
Paul: give us a phrase
Brian: penutbutter, paul?
Paul: oh....
Paul: there are places to put peanut butter you'd never imagine
Brian: what can you do with spam to make it an inuendo. . . or what cant' you do with spam to make it an inuendo
Paul: dig a hole in it
Paul: then rape it
F: i swear off men
Brian: how about fried spam, which tastes very much like raw spam, or pickeld spam
F: i really do
Brian: your a girl
Brian: or gay?
F: how'd u guess
R: both
Brian: it's ok if you gay
R: i mean
F: lol
F: much
F: i'm very straight Pat
Paul: right on at least 1 part
F: ask Tim
Paul: maybe 2
Brian: hey, we've got a 1:9 girl/guy ratio over here, so being gay is like playing the odds at a casio
Paul: that's about what we have
F: it's great
F: in theory
Brian: yah for girsl
F: but u have to put up with all these-
F: MEN
F: or male types who think they're men
Brian: yah, it's funny to see everyone here gawking at girls
F: then it just gets sad
D: what is taht supposed to mean F
F: after a while u'd think guys would get over boobs
F: sometime they do
Brian: nope, not going to happen, it's in the culture
Paul: you underestimate the average guy
D: I could go in a very bad direction with that
F: then things get really interesting
Paul: innuendo
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Brian: the T&A america culture has been engrained in us since we were born, so were kinda stuck with it
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F: well where were we
Paul: innuendo!
Brian: other coutries it's long necks of lip rings, and I sure the girls over there say "stop looking at my lip, you bastard"
F: ha
R: Tim?
R: comment?
F: i think u came in at a bad place
F: wait, it's all bad
T: apparently so
T: i seem to be good at that
F: oh
R: das stimmt
F: let's not go there
T: finde ich auch
R: ja
R: aber wir kann Dueutsch sprechen
F: STOP TALKING TO EACH OTHER IN GERMAN!!!
R: und sie wisen nicht was wir sagen
Brian: what I want to know is, why wear pushup bras and get implants if you don't want guys looking at you boobs
F: like i said
R: gute frage
F: it's great in theory
Brian: that's like me putting christmas lights on my penis and saying, "dont' look at my penis:
F: u've done this?
Paul: probably
Brian: ummmmm, I envoke the fith
F: actually, I would have to see this
Paul: battery powered?
Paul: or microwave
Brian: no, I would get a long extension cord
T: solar?
F: heat generated
Paul: occasionally set your genitalia on fire, SC2K style
Brian: lol
Brian: quality timeing paul
Paul: you know what I'm referring to
Paul: at least it's better than a meltdown
F: i missed this
F: or not
T: i shall return
Brian: I don't know, but I wasn't thinking of the fire hazard untill paul brought it up
F: now that u mention it
Paul: or burns from hot light bulbs
Brian: you can just imagin haveing to explain what happend to the ER people
F: once more i restate my earlier comment
Paul: yeah
F: i don't think i'll ever be able to understand the mentality
F: or why setting your genitalia on fire would be funny
Paul: not to the person on fire, but it would be funny to everyone else
Brian: I think if you did that you would kinda deserve it
F: tru dat
Brian: you would be running up to people "PUT IT OUT, PUT IT OUT!!"
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N: hey
Paul: pat just left
N: oh well
F: he couldn't take the conversation
T: hmmm well I see i missed more of the same
N: what was that?
F: Tim
D: Hey, Alaska :-) Run. You do not want to be here
F: u are so silly
N: i don't?
F: u do
N: daymn
D: I don't want ot be
F: is fun
D: Permentant scarring
F: but that's just John
Paul: well, now that we're finally off the topic of flaming genitalia...
N: was it the french fighter pilot joke?
F: men are never off that topic
D: No, you never did tel me
D: Like you are?
N: well i will in person...so i can do a french accent
F: i'm a good girl i am
F: ask Tim
N: i'm not
D: more info then needed
T: absolutely, I swear it :)
F: u're the best Tim
N: oh come on john...
Paul: i'm not
D: lol :-P
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D: you know to many things about me'
R: Phht!
N: hey it's pat
T: he returns with a vengeance!
F: do i now
R: aye
F: yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
D: You do to, but that's not what I was talking about
T: sixteen men on a dead Dodge Dart
N: yeah?
F: sucky vehicles ne ways
Paul: I don't think 16 men would like that
T: probably not
Paul: unless they were gay
Paul: or masochists
F: i'm going for SM
N: interesting
T: oh you go for that kind of thing do you?
F: u'd know
Paul: wouldn't surprise me
T: my lips are sealed
F: good thing
D: TO MUCH INFO. BEDROOK SECRETS NOT ALLOWED
R: lol
N: geez john...it's intersting...lighten up
N: ;)
F: O:-)
Paul: mmmm... dihydrogen monoxide
T: that's hazardous materials! people die from that!
R: lol
D: dinitrogen monoxide is better
R: here they do
T: lol
Paul: ingestion causes excessive urination
Paul: http://www.dhmo.org/
N: so....pat...how many you killed?
F: u guys
R: many what?
Paul: kittens?
F: i've created a monster
R: lol
F: or rather sired
R: lol
N: kittens is too much info.i'm talking the site
Brian: "Every time you masterbate, god kills a kitten. Please, think of a kitten"
F: check your liniage
N: yes someone else knows that
F: woah
F: yeah
N: i have that printed off in my room
Paul: Steven Lynch sings the "Kill a Kitten" song
F: it's in the speed 3 bathroom
Brian: someone on my floor has that a a background with a kitten being chased by to werid green things
T: we've got a few of those up here too
Paul: ha ha ha
F: right Tim?
T: yeah me too
N: yeah the foam japanese cartoon dudes
Brian: yup
F: how many kittens are dead because of this chat room?
Paul: 42
F: wow
R: and counting
R: wait wait wait
R: 43
Brian: ohhhhhhh, 45
F: oh Pat
Brian: sorry, two at once
Paul: good one?
R: goin 4 46
R: ...
R: 46!
Paul: Oooh, the next one is 55 from the look on his face
Brian: is superman is so strong that he can stop at train . . . .
Brian: then he must put holes in the cealing
R: lol
Paul: and he gets 4000 kittens in one stroke
N: wow
R: lol
Paul: talk about efficiency
Paul: Who needs Bob Barker when you have Superman controlling the cat population?
R: if men could have multiple orgasms, women would rule the world bcause we would stay in our rooms all day
R: and there would b no more cats in the universe
F: y don't u guys work on that
T: I'm suddenly reminded of a Pink Floyd song
F: instead of trying to bag us
Brian: uhhhh, I thought we allready established that we were
T: "RUN LIKE HELL"
N: okay i just killed my friend isaac and he used "NutSack" as his vampire name
R: so I am a grandsire at last
F: i rest my case
Brian: wow, you got wayyyyy to into that vampire thing
Paul: it's spread incredibly fast
Brian: I guess it fits though
Paul: do vampires kill kittens?
R: duh
R: I just did
Paul: Just make sure you don't wear brass knuckles
F: aaahhhh
Brian: "Men need three things, sex, computer games, and food, when one is lacking, the other two compsensate"
F: ha
R: lol
Paul: and don't "run" with scissors
Brian: it's true too
Paul: I see you're living on computer games and food, cessna
Brian: definatly
N: oh...i'm gonna get my ex bf he's online now yes
Paul: pig farmer, however, isn't playing any computer games
N: another vampire
Brian: well, I can also swap in flying too
F: i like to fly
Brian: well he sceatry is
Brian: are you a pilot?
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F: nope
Brian: or just a druggy
F: hehehe
F: no drugs for me
F: like to keep my brain cells thank u very much
Brian: jumping out of the thrid story window again finix?
F: i need all the help i can get
N: hey...i have brain cells
Paul: and there's a pile of kittens at the bottom to crush
Brian: and ofcorse (pig)farmer hasn't killed any, becase he "hasnt' need to"
Paul: how true
Brian: I guess no one else knows who we're talking about
Paul: he probably tries to get the practice anyway
Paul: nope
Paul: and he doesnt have AIM
F: boo
F: he sounds like fun
Brian: well if he actually got all that he claims to . . .
Paul: oh, yes
F: ha
Paul: but he wouldn't be on this late anyway
F: yet another point in the case against men
Paul: at least he's not on ICQ now
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I: oh wow
Paul: hey
I: who are all these people?
D: I'm me
Paul: cessna is one of my friends
I: indeed
Brian: are all 7 of you in the same room still??
N: laurinda...i dunno if you know me
Paul: no, just 4 of us
Brian: I'm down in florida, at Embry-Riddle
I: N?
N: yeah
I: yea
R: Phht!
F: boo ya
F: meesside
Paul: and we've been talking about kitten killing and flaming genetalia
Paul: among other things
F: other things
F: please
Brian: mainly flaming genetalia
R: and vampires
Paul: we could combine the two topics...
R: dont forget the vampires
N: oh gosh, when i went camping with OVC during break everyone was talking about being mean to cats and i was so thinking of it in the wrong context
F: u would
Paul: if you kill enough kittens, will the friction eventually set you on fire?
F: no offense
F: i prolly would too
F: specially now
I: oh my
Brian: it would cause massive chafeing at the least
I: i came in at the wrong time
Paul: vaseline
R: work done by friction is proportional to distance
N: well...for girls there's a little bit of natural lube there so....
R: so it depends on size also
I: oh my
I: i may be leaving now
F: tru dat
Brian: I do belive that girls eventually run out too
Paul: and the coefficient of kinetic friction
F: do we
Brian: that's why KY was invented
F: how would u know
Paul: some are more rough than others, I suppose
N: haha
Brian: hey, just because the ratio is bad here doesnt mean it was bad other places I've lived
I: yikes
Paul: don't be scared Ice
I: paul, why oh why did you bring me into this mess
F: no
R: your sister hasn't even been mentioned yet
Paul: nope
F: be scared
I: oh my
N: whoa
F: be very scared
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I: and i shall leave before she is
Paul: basically because you weren't away is why we invited you
R: 2 late
I: heheh
I: bye all
I: bed time
Paul: who needs sleep?
I: i do
N: yeah
I: 'nite 'nite
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Brian: YES!! My 8 AM class will feel like a 9AM class (thank you time zone)
Paul: stupid DST
Paul: who needs it
Brian: it does suck when trying to find GMT
Brian: and it sucks in the summer
Brian: or spring
Paul: I'll sleep when my battery runs out
Paul: which will be in 1 hr 5 min
Brian: try running 10 graphics intensive games at once
N: haha
Brian: you'll be asleep real fast
N: 1 hour 5 mins...thats exact
Paul: that's what the laptop battery meter says
Brian: because you can trust microsoft
N: aahhh...i thought you ment personal energy nm
F: it lies
N: it's the devil
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Brian: see, the rest of the world has clocks paul
Paul: I have a clock
D: clocks are bad
Brian: but most people judge time by them, not by battrie life
Paul: and all my other clocks are set to it, i thought we discussed it
Paul: besides, I didn't have to change all my clocks this weekend
Brian: yes, but what good is a +or- .001s watch when you don't use it
Paul: I use it
Paul: im just not in the room now
Paul: i see nobody else is paying attention
Brian: but what happens if you take a trip to russia paul? what then?
N: sorta
Paul: let's say raunchy things
Brian: how about 'dem fishstick
Paul: mine are grunchy and golden
Brian: mine are limp and cold
Brian: . . . .wait, I mean, no, I mean. YES I'M AWSOME!!!
Paul: crunchy, not grunchy
Paul: how are everybody else's Paul?
Brian: hey paul, have you ever seen the twinkie pants I have?
N: geez....i lost track of this for a sec now i'm lost
Paul: no
Paul: more innuendo
Brian: I've got some PJ pants' that are bright yellow and have the twikie logo all over them, so I wore them to a costuem party
last saturday
F: ok
F: bye then
Paul: bye
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Brian: and I found the smallest banana around and stuck it out the crotch
Brian: but it snapped in half on the way there
Paul: and so you had a banana in your pants AND you were happy to see them
Brian: just some inuendo to get you going
Paul: which would disturb you more, if they were happy to see you or if it actually was a banana
Brian: Well, I though about paining my genetalia yellow and switching the banana out half way throught the party
Brian: but I decided aginst it
Paul: i think people would notice
N: you think?
Paul: yes
Paul: the shape would be slightly different
Paul: and there would be a different coefficient of kinetic friction
Brian: yah, they probably would, espically since all the girls at the party were naturally atracted to see what the bright yellow
pants said
N: sjust slightly
Paul: and it's hard to kill kittens with a banana
Brian: yah, espically when it breaks in half
N: hey...kittens choke
Paul: true
Paul: but scary
Paul: i'd be much impressed if you could get the kitten to cooperate
Brian: ummm, paul
Paul: just watch out for those teeth
Brian: (@)
Brian: it sucks, they were giving out free candy apples at one of the cafiteras today
Paul: and...
Brian: I was like "cool, free food. . . .oh wait"
Paul: and...
Brian: my teath are kinda not staying in my head too well, remember
Paul: oh yeah
Brian: I bought some beefjerkey and had to chew it like bubble gum
Brian: They are finally getting removed on the 7th, then over winter break they are going to do the work to get in implant posts
in while I'm in ohio
Paul: "Beef Jerky... it's like meat gum"
N: where'd that quote come from?
Paul: Gabriel, during Fast Track
N: okay...no clue who that is
Brian: what is fast track?
Paul: Calculus Camp
Brian: ohh, I guess I wouldn't get it then
N: yeah..fast track, i avoided that like the plague
Brian: I still think of a bunch of little paul's sitting in a computer lab, with camp counslers like your set-up in the senior skit
Paul: Avoic clichés like the plague.
Paul: avoid
Paul: and never generalize
Paul: besides, we didn't use computer labs
Paul: we used our laptops
N: still
Brian: I know, but that's the sort of funny mental picture I get
Paul: computer labs suck when you can set up a counter-strike game anywhere you feel like it
Paul: we're not tied to one place
Paul: and wireless really helps that
Brian: ahhh, but I have more power
Paul: True
Brian: I can run GTAIII at full graphics settings
Paul: but you can't play CS in the same room as 19 other people
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Paul: I don't see why I can't
Brian: well I could . . . .
Brian: anyone see jackass yet?
Paul: no
N: nope
Paul: Yet again, I have to move to another building
Brian: why are you in so many buildings?
Paul: actually, regardless of my battery life, I think I'll go to sleep now
Paul: bye all
Paul: mobility
Paul: because I can
Brian: talk and type then
Brian: I mean walk and type
Brian: get an acordian harness
Paul: I'll run out of wireless before I can connect to a wire
Paul: i'll go as far as I can though
Brian: and a big head mounted antena
Brian: I guess I'll go to sleep too
Paul: i'll have to type one-handed though
Paul: and hold the laptop withthe other hand
Brian: or, log off, wander around the dorm for an hour, then go to sleep
Brian: just get a harness
Paul: i want to see how far the wireless goes... leaving now.
Brian: ok, keep going, I'm still getting a signal
Brian: "can you hear me now
Brian: "
Paul: itll be a while
Paul: should b getting close
Brian: How big is your campus anyway
Paul: can you hear me now
Brian: yup
Paul: good
Paul: now
*** Mon Oct 28 00:46:16 2002.
*** Mon Oct 28 00:46:16 2002.
*** Mon Oct 28 00:46:21 2002.
*** Attempting to re-join chat...
Paul: found it
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*** Brian has joined the chat.
Brian: I'm loosing you
Paul: so I lose wireless about 75 ft from my dorm
Brian: did you know you can make these windows transparent?
Paul: yep
Brian: that's cool
Brian: I dont' see the point other then for novilty
Paul: yes
Paul: did you disconnect or did it disconnecy you when I left
Brian: I guess for always on top
Paul: that's true
Paul: but I don't do that anyway
Brian: I just lost the chat and then it cam back
Paul: did you lose the connection farque?
Brian: nope
Paul: hmm
Brian: maybe we lost the super secure 128-bit encryption
Paul: maybe
Brian: and it was like "oh no, people will hear what they are saying, it's clasified"
Brian: and disconnected so no matters of national security discussed over IM would be overheard
Paul: I can just imagine our network admin spying on the previous conversation
Paul: microwave power...
Brian: it would be devistating if flaming genetalia power got out
Paul: It burns clean and provides lots of energy
Paul: maybe we could run cars off it
Brian: well, KJ did tell me about people "chrisining" cars
Paul: The ignition in your car sticks a lighter between your legs...
Brian: which means "killing a kitten" in the gas tank
Paul: it'd probably drown anyway
Paul: put it out of its misery
Paul: didn't we already have this discussion about whether cars are male or female?
Paul: they have a gearshift and a gas tank
Brian: yup, they are hermafradites
Paul: ph, not f
Paul: hermaphrodite
Brian: yes, it that's the only word I've misspelled during this conversation then exelent for me
Brian: I normally misspell a word every sentance
Paul: excellent, christened,
Brian: yes, yes, I know. But you understand what I'm saying so it doesn't really matter if the spelling is off
Brian: (unless your secreatly an english major)
Paul: Your capitalization is not optimal either.
Brian: sometimes I get lazy
Paul: Oh, I released version 2 of the suckometer
Paul: you have a TI-89, right?
Brian: oh great, what's this one have 3 lines of code, instead of 2
Brian: yah
Brian: I hate the firewall
I hate the firewall
I hate the firewall
I hate the firewall
I hate the firewall
I hate the firewall
I hate the firewall
I hate the firewall
I hate the firewall
I hate the firewall
I hate the firewall
Paul: there you go
Paul: install it and try it
*** N has left the chat.
Paul: too bad
Paul: both girls left
Brian: who wast that anyway?
Paul: someone else here
Brian: ohhh a girl
Paul: the other girl that goes to this school
Brian: ahh
Paul: did you install suckometer?
Paul: 2.0?
Brian: noo, I burning a cd for someone, the computer is going slow
Paul: oh
Brian: he gave me 4 cd's in exchange for burning one
Paul: nice
Paul: Blank CD-Rs are currency?
Brian: ok, done, I guess they are
Brian: wow, a software engineering marvel paul
Paul: Windows AutoUpdate just installed MSN messenger on my system today
Paul: and it doesn't come with an unistall
Brian: it's will start up with the system evertime too, you have to go into settings and change it
Paul: I know, I had to go into msconfig and take it out of startup
Paul: I think I just might delete the directory and let Windows complain
Paul: actually, I'll burn it to a CD and take the CD out of the drive
Brian: try going into msconfig and looking at all the things that start up
Paul: that way, it won't find it searching for it
Paul: but if there's a problem I can put it back on
Brian: nice, the instructions function is called "isuck"
Paul: yep
Paul: stupid 8 character limits
Paul: you should see some of the variable names i use in Maple
Paul: Position_of_second_mass_at_time_t_with_air_resistance
Brian: wow
Paul: How_far_fred_will_fall
Paul: no question which variable it is though
Brian: yes, not ambugiuty there
Paul: well, I think i really am going to bed this time
Paul: I have to restart the computer anyway for the msconfig changes to take effect
Paul: bye
Brian: but the network hasn't cut out yet
Paul: I'm plugged into the wall now, i
Paul: m in my room
Paul: bye
Brian: you made it all the way over on wireless
Brian: that's pretty good
Paul: no i didnt
Brian: when did you cut out?
Paul: that's when it disconnected
Brian: oh, but that was like for two seconds
Paul: I was 75 ft from my dorm
Brian: not bad, see y a later
Paul: and I had to walk the 75 ft then walk to my room
Paul: bye
*** Session Close: Mon Oct 28 01:16:20 2002