A Horrible King
((24 May 2008))
Dear Heacha and Rissh,
I'm glad you enjoyed your trip to Stormwind, Heacha. I'll be sure to thank Jenive and Imble again for bringing you along and letting you stay. Don't think you were able to hide your excitement from me!
I'm sorry to hear that you've been more tired than normal, Rissh. I wish there was something I could do. I'll try to stop home and visit as soon as possible.
The rest of this letter is mostly for Heacha.
Where do I even begin?
I guess I'll start by saying that I know you've been encouraging me to think about what I want more often, rather than worrying about the two of you so much. I believe that I'm beginning to see where you're coming from with that opinion.
Your trip to Stormwind, actually, was what gave me some indication that I may have been focusing too much on you. I'll admit that I was very worried about you before you made the trip; only the fact that I trusted your hosts and that I knew you know your physical limits made me hold my tongue. It turns out that you had an incredible time, and despite my worries, nothing happened to you.
I guess part of the problem is that I sometimes forget that you and your brother are adults. Yes, I know you could give me a lecture about the difference between now and the year you were born, or a lecture on how you exhibit adult body proportions, but that's not what I'm looking for. I know the two of you are grown up, but I still remember you as the scared little girl who refused to give up, even if it's been decades since then. That I'm providing for the two of you financially helps contribute to the illusion that the two of you are younger than you are — it's almost like the two of you are my children rather than my siblings. Don't get me wrong; you know that I don't mind providing for you in the least. The problem is that I only need to provide money for you; you are not a child anymore, and I shouldn't be spending my time and energy holding you back from what you want to do; it's a waste of time for both of us.
So, as difficult as it is, I've been trying to force myself to heed your advice and start worrying about what I want rather than what you want. I know the amount of money I've been sending you has been more than sufficient, so I decided that I'd try to work a little harder and earn a bit more money for myself so I could afford to trade in my current gryphon for a much faster one.
Well, I surprised myself with how quickly I began to earn the money. I did a great deal of work for the Shattered Sun Offensive over the past few weeks, and they pay well, so after completing my tasks for them two days ago, I was less than a hundred gold short of the amount I'd need.
Certainly, I could have waited another day to earn that last bit of money, but it was only early afternoon, and I had no further plans. I vaguely remembered an offer of work in the Blade's Edge town of Sylvanaar, and decided to make the trip up there to see if it was still available.
It turns out they had plenty for me to do. I performed a number of odd jobs for them before a certain Commander Skyshadow got my attention. Apparently the settlement was threatened by some nearby clans of ogres, the Bloodmaul and the Bladespire. He wanted me to dispatch 30 of each. Now, taking out sixty of anything isn't an easy task, particularly ogres, but the money would be enough for me to reach my goal, the cause was good, and so I gave him my word that I'd do it.
As you know, when I make a promise, I keep it.
So I headed down to the first camp of ogres. Now, I don't consider myself particularly stealthy, but it's generally not too difficult to sneak up on an ogre, and the one I picked didn't seem to notice me until I actually attacked him. I handled him well enough, but he seemed hesitant to fight... something seemed horribly wrong, but I couldn't put my finger on what it was.
I took out a dozen more ogres, and my unease didn't let up. Even when I slipped up enough that my presence should have been noticed, the ogres ignored me until I actually engaged them in battle. And then, I finally figured out what was wrong.
The next ogre, in his dying breath, told me, "Puny gnome... you were a... horrible king."
Memories came rushing back to me, and I suddenly felt nauseous.
As you probably already realized well before I did, these were the ogres that had crowned me "king" several months ago after a group of friends and I killed a number of gronn. I'd never actually been to my "subjects'" camps, and didn't immediately recognize the significance of their clan names. Although I suspect it was a ceremonial title, they were right: I was a horrible king.
And yet, I'd also made a promise to kill them.
I did not break my promise.
Have you ever felt conflicted between doing what was right and doing what you were obligated to do? Somehow, I doubt that my title of "king" actually gave me the power to prevent the ogres from getting in the way of the settlement, but I should not have been the one using deadly force to convince them to stay away.
I collected my money, but somehow my new gryphon failed to improve my mood.
I'm not even sure to end this. I owe an apology to the Bladespire and Bloodmaul, but how do you apologize for killing so many of them? How can I even show my face there? That their previous Gronn masters were probably even more cruel does not console me.
I don't know what to do. I hate to bring you into this, but it seemed important to let you know the horrible things your older brother has been doing for money. I only ask for your forgiveness.
-Calsh